I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining examples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for initially in an extended while, I don’t feel alone.
Section of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was the thought that I would be doing this for the incorrect reason; as a way to prevent my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to talk about wasn’t yet clear in those days; only on the drive away made it happen coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never should have told you, never should have allow you to see inside acim teacher. Don’t want it troubling your brain, won’t you allow it to be?” This confused me as I really could not think of anything that I had stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the absolute most prominent fear I had in visiting the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere with its residents’satisfaction, by just my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for many years, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness immediately after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief has been (has been?) released.
You can find other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.